


'Different'

by J_Shute_Norway



Series: The Fantastic Foxes of Zootopia [1]
Category: Fantastic Mr. Fox, Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Anger, Anxiety, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Loss of Identity, Reconciliation, Shyness, Sign Language, Suicide Attempt, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-16 07:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15431751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Shute_Norway/pseuds/J_Shute_Norway
Summary: Nick was always a mammal who struggled to open up about himself. Ash is an angry young fox who's given up on everything. They never expected to meet each other, much less help each other. But in the city where anyone can be anything, fantastic things sometimes happen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crossover fic between Zootopia and Fantastic Mr Fox, though it leans towards the former (similar to how the original Take a Stand was a crossover with Robin hood). While you can enjoy it without watching the latter, I advise that you do. Same vice-versa, though to a lesser extent. Finally, I’d also like to thank the brilliant Takoto for doing the artwork that accompanies this fic.

**Chapter 1**

.

The wind ruffled through Nick’s fur as he stood on the bridge. A cold northerly was blowing over, cold before it even picked up the artificial chill from tundratown.

Still, he knew it could be worse.

The low rumbling of the Zootopia river below reminded him of that, as it carried the meltwater from the frozen district out to the sea. Despite separating Savannah Central from Sahara Square, the temperature in there was said to often dip below freezing, only the churn of the deadly current keeping it from fully icing over.

Going in there though, and your body would have no defences. Out of his all time worst ways to die, Nick felt that being frozen solid, agonisingly chilled down until your body failed and the cold took your life, and then turned to mush from the frostbite was at the top. A few years ago, he’d wished that he’d be able to drown himself quickly as he and Judy were held over Mr Bigs’ icing chamber. Down in that river, he hoped that he’d die on hitting the surface, or be brained against the rock, rather than fight the chill until his ultimate demise.

He glanced back to Judy, and then forwards. He wondered if the fox kit he saw thought the same thing.

Maybe he was just too scared or depressed or angry to think about such finer detail.

“Hey, Kit,” the fox cop called out, and the kit turned to face him. He was small, not that much higher than Judy, and had a normal, if a bit light, red fox coat, albeit with some distinctive brown markings around his eyes. From far away, it seemed like he had giant eyebrows, with eyelash like smudges fanning out above them. His petite muzzle was riven with tears, along with fresh scratch marks.

He stayed silent. Standing there, feet on the railing. Nick looked nervously at them, the white socks he wore almost inviting an accidental slip. Into them was tucked a pair of white trousers, and into those a thick white jumper. A cape was fixed to his back, as if he thought he’d fly off like a super mammal.

“Don’t like the cold, do you?” Nick began, pointing to the warm apparel. “Neither do I. I hate it.” 

He glanced over at Judy, who nodded.

She also knew that he hated the cold.

She was also one of the few mammals who knew that he hated revealing that, or any ‘personal’ information, almost as much. His hustlers mask, as she called it, and how he was loathe to remove it and let others see his inner secrets. Even now, his hustling days well over, that meant vulnerability. It meant being judged on the real you, not some armour you put up. On the way over, up until they knew it was a fox, they’d both agreed that she’d lead the talk down, given how it would be easier for her to talk.

When they knew it was a fox though, she’d suggested he do it.

Another glance over at her face, and she smiled slightly. Proud of how he was doing.

The kit’s face remained expressionless. It was then the officer saw the stunt camera fixed to his shoulder, a tag attached to it.

“Now…” he carried on, nervously. Both paws in front of him, palms out and fingers splaying. “It’s a bit of an ooopsie if you go in there, as that river’s very cold, isn’t it Mr….”

Nick paused, tilting his head slightly, waving his fingers as he waited for a name.

The kit turned and spat on the floor.

Nick smiled and nodded. “Very well Mr,” he said, before turning and giving his own spit onto the floor. “Now, why do you want to end your life, just when it’s getting exciting, huh?”

“I’m not needed.”

The words rung out, no echo coming back as the ice-dread sound of the river took over once more. The fox’s voice sounded unusually deep and very mature given his stature, though it was a normal adult voice, with a slight adolescent squeak, rather than the crazy baritone of someone like Finnick. Had it been a lighter moment, Nick would have even joked to Judy about it sounding very ‘articulate’, though now definitely wasn’t the time.

“What makes you think that?” the fox cop asked. “I promise you that there are mammals out there who need you, even if you don’t know it yet.” He motioned back to Judy and smiled. “I thought I wasn’t needed by anyone for two decades. I was though. I just hadn’t met her. I promise you, it’s worth the wait. Everyone’s needed.”

“Well I’m  _different,_ ” he growled, the last word treated like filth. He pulled up the camera attached to him and pointed it at his face, staring into it. Nick’s eyes widened as he spotted the tag attached to it,  _‘my confession is inside’_ , and he began sneaking forwards as fast as he could.

“You were right,” the spitting fox cursed. “That’s what you always said, and I wanted you to know it was true. I’m  _different._  I should have worked out that that was code for  _‘surplus to requirement’_  a long time ago. For once, I hope your precious Kris does prove himself better than me at another thing!”

He turned and leant forwards, arms wide open like a crucifix, and he fell over the edge.

Nick leapt, sinking both pairs of claws into the boy’s leg and screaming as he took the strain. There was a bang as the kit’s falling head hit the side of the railing before he began thrashing about.

“NO!!!!” he screamed. “LET ME GO! I CAN’T FAIL AT THIS! LET ME GO!”

“How about no,” Nick grunted, as Judy raced over and grabbed the other leg. He thrashed and kicked as the two pulled him up, gripping the railings and pulling himself down, only for Nick to kick his hand-paws free. With a scream of despair from the pit of his stomach, the spitting fox was brought back over, and the two quickly held him down as he fought for release.

There was a click as his legs were cuffed together. Unorthodox, and requiring a huge amount of paperwork, but worth it.

He still fought, bitterly trying to haul himself over the edge, and his tear-filled cries were as cold as the river below. “NOOO!!! Please! Let me be good at something! Let me be good!”

The effort of trying to keep his arms controlled too much, Nick brought out his own cuffs and waved Judy over, to try and get his paws locked together. “Sorry Mister,” he said, before spitting. “But you’re making this difficult for all of us.”

He brought the paws together and locked them tight, only to gulp at the sight. Below his right hand, on his arm, a battlefield of raw flesh and torn up fur.

Bite marks.

Self-inflicted.

“Don’t worry.”

Judy said that as the two partners lifted him up and began carrying him back to the squad car, even as he still fought for his freedom.

“We’re going to take you to a hospital. You’re not in trouble. They’ll get you the help you need.”

“I DON’T NEED ANY CUSSING HELP!” He yelled, before he went limp. He descended full on into tears, as he sobbed out the rest of his statement. “I can… I can… I can be good at this… I can…”

Carrying on, the cries were interrupted by Judy. “Well done partner,” she said. “Good to know I need you!” The bunny turned around, smiling slightly as she diffused the tension between them. Their hearts were still beating fast, and this and the previous in-jest comment helped things a bit. Coming up to their vehicle she turned forwards and shrugged. “I mean I’d be surprised if you were able to confess that kind of thing just to me… Well done partner.”

Nick blinked a bit, before gulping.

He had just said that thing out loud, hadn’t he?

Truth be told though, he hadn’t suffer from any of the apprehension that he’d have usually expected... yet. Maybe it was just because saving the kit was so much more urgent.

Reaching the cruiser, they placed him in the back and released the leg restraints. He stayed put, flinching back slightly as both Nick and Judy placed a paw on his side. He didn’t look at them, or notice as Judy placed his wallet back on his lap, giving Nick a glance at it as she did so.

“Don’t worry Mr Fox, you’re safe now,” Judy reassured him, as her partner snorted slightly.

“You know,” he mused, “I now know why you go by the name of Mr…” He turned and spat on the ground, before looking back at the kit. “How about I call you Ash? Huh?”

.

.

.

.

While well acquainted with hospital waiting rooms, thanks mainly to injuries gained in the line of duty, mental hospital waiting rooms were a much older and less clear memory for Nick. They seemed much nicer, warmer, and colourful though, both then and now.

He’d chosen to be there when the Fox family arrived, pulling up in a restored army motorcycle and sidecar of all things. Mr Fox, as he stepped in, reminded Nick of a cross between the Redtailed baron and the hero of some 70’s heist caper. Well dressed in a brown faux-leather suit set, a pair of driving goggles resting above his eyes, he launched right into it.

“I heard that Ash tried to kill himself? Is that true?”

“Yes,” Nick replied. “I hauled him back onto the bridge with my partner.”

Looking on and, from what he could see, Nick liked the look of Mr Fox. He seemed to be far more of an exciting uncle rather than a father, though Nick never had any uncles (yet alone exciting ones) so he couldn’t be totally sure. Then again, surely those exciting uncles could have children too? Maybe his own father was like that, though, from what he could remember of his old man, Mr Wilde had been quiet but sweet (and a hardcore trekkie, though every mammal had his faults). He was the kind of father who wouldn’t be rough and tumble with you but would sit by your bed reading stories, and who’s soft hugs and strokes really meant something.

A slight movement from the corner of his eye brought Nick back to attention. “Are you two the rest of the family?” he asked.

Beside Mr Fox stood two other foxes, a vixen, who was clearly his wife, and a silver fox, an older brother who was a whole head taller than his brother.

“Felicity…” “Kristopherson…” they both replied, and Nick felt a nervous tick as he remembered the confession on the bridge. Mrs Fox pushed past that though, stepping forwards to hug him, thanking him endlessly for his good deed. After the half a dozenth time, Nick managed to push her off, and turn to Kristopherson.

“Kris is it?” he asked, the silver fox nodding in response. “Ash mentioned you, he said that he wished that you’d prove yourself better than him at another thing? Know why your little brother would say that?”

The question hung in the air for a bit, the silver fox thinking, before calmly replying. “Firstly, it’s worth noting that he isn’t my little brother. He’s my little cousin, in a physical sense. I’m actually a bit younger than him, despite my appearance. I’ve been living with my family for six months, due to my father having a long-term illness.”

Nick’s ears dropped at that, and he stepped forwards. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Kris smiled. “Thanks, it’s appreciated. He’s recovering quickly though, I should be home in less than a month. Though for it to be truly home we’d have to organise a big get together or something.” He looked at his aunt and uncle affectionately, and they looked back at him likewise.

Nick couldn’t help but feel his former sadness swept away with warmth, and he looked at the young kit in front of him with a newfound sense of respect. “That’s a very good outlook on life, you know. I kind of wish I felt like that when I was your age, it would have made things a lot easier.”

“Well, that’s Kris for you,” Mr Fox said, smiling. “He’s just a natural.”

“I couldn’t help but put it like that myself,” Mrs Fox added, before sighing. “As for Ash though, he’s different.”

That word, accompanied by waving paws by the vixen, rang out, Nick’s ears falling back as he remembered how they’d been screamed out. “ _Different?_ ” he enquired.

“Yeah, different,” Mr Fox added, also waving his paws. “Nothing wrong with it, it’s just what he is.”

“Different,” Kris chimed in. “In quite a number of ways.”

Nick closed his eyes and opened them again, gazing at each three as he honed his piercing hustlers gaze to its maximum. “What do you mean by  _different?_ ”

“I just mean he’s different. Not the same. Nothing wrong with that, something we always remind him of,” Mr Fox said.

Again, Nick spotted him wave his paws as the D word was spoken.  _What is it with Mr Fox, different, and waving?_

“We make sure of it, he is our son after all,” Mrs Fox said, looking down slightly and beginning to sniff. “We always tried to make sure that we knew it was okay… But…. But… I guess I…”

“We, dear,” Mr Fox said, stepping over to hug her, his face pained as she began to cry.

“WE FAILED!” she wailed out, before covering her eyes with her paws, bawling out into them.

“We won’t give up though,” Kris said, placing a paw on his aunt’s shoulder. “I’ll work doubly hard. I’ll teach him my meditation. My wellness exercises. I’ll volunteer here...”

Nick kept watch over them before shaking his head, his hustlers gaze finding nothing hidden or foul among the three. Just a family shocked by a near-miss tragedy, and not knowing where they went wrong. He turned to Kris and smiled. “He’s lucky to have you, you know?”

“I guess so… sort of,” the silver fox sighed. “I mean, those things are the kind of things that anyone would do, aren’t they?”

.

.

.

Lead on by an otter nurse, they reached the door to Ash’s room. It was thick wood, but two rectangular glass panes were inset, letting the group look in. The nurse gently rapped at it, and spoke.

“Master Fox, I’ve got some visitors for you. Is it okay if we come in?”

There was some grunting and some noises, before the door clicked open and the Fox looked out. Dressed now in pair of blue trousers, as if trying to give the impression of a pair of jeans, and a grey jumper over a white shirt, he looked at the pair tiredly, before his eyes widened slightly as he saw Nick.

The fox cop, meanwhile, had backed off, startled. A panicked ‘yip’ escaped his throat before he composed himself from the shock of seeing Ash’s final clothing item. It was made of thick white plastic and perforated with holes, rather than cold metal and black fabric straps, but a muzzle was still a muzzle, and this one was locked onto his head. Ash stood there stoically in it, while Nick felt a hot wash of embarrassment. He scanned around at the others, trying to see if they’d noticed his scream, all while he braced for the questions…

The probing…

The expectation to open himself up to them. Bare and exposed…

Nick could already feel the butterflies in his stomach flutter as the otter nurse turned to face him.

“Sorry, he’s a self-biter risk,” she explained. Nick felt his instinctual guard lower slightly as the limelight was cast away from his fear, while Mr Fox’s eyes widening at what had been said.

“No,” he said. “My son’s never…”

He trailed off as Ash held up his right arm, showing the wounds he’d given himself. As Mr Fox looked on speechless, the kit turned and spat to the floor, the spit trapped in his muzzle and drooling out of a hole. He gave a quick glance up, before grabbing the door and slamming it shut.

It didn’t close.

Silently, without a complaint, Kris had his foot stuck in the door, keeping it open.

“I’m fine by myself,” Ash growled.

“No you’re not,” the silver fox replied, his voice perfectly normal and innocent.

“I can break your foot with this door if you don’t move it!”

“You can’t.”

“I’LL MAKE YOU SCREAM IN PAIN!” he yelled, pulling the door back and smashing it into his cousin’s foot.

.

“No you won’t.”

Ash changed tactics, pushing forwards as hard as he could, grunting and straining as he did so. “I’ll push this door closed.”

“Ash, please,” he said, the calls mirrored by his parents.

“I’m going to close this door on you!”

“Cousin, we know that won’t happen.”

“It’s gonna happen!” Ash boasted. “I’m an athlete, and I’m…”

He trailed off as Kris stood up and, with just one paw on the door, pushed it open. The fox on the other side ‘eeked’ slightly and groaned, growling as his feet began to scurry on the floor and fight back. It was futile, and the door was opened up wide.

Ash stood there, looking at his cousin, with eyes that flashed between sorrow and anger and fear and envy and rage.

He blinked, sniffing.

“AREN’T YOU GOING TO COME IN!?”

“Only if you say I can,” Kris politely said, before flinching as Ash sank to his knees and screamed, pounding the ground as he did so.

.

Mrs Fox, crying, ran forwards to hug her child.

Mr Fox, still composed, did the same.

Kris patted his shoulder with a paw.

Together, they brought him outside.

.

“Son,” Mr Fox began to say. “I have no idea what went through your mind. Why you would ever want to throw away your life like that? I don’t know what pains you’ve been going through, or how you feel. But remember, we love you. We wouldn’t love you any other way. And there’s nothing wrong with being diff…”

He was cut off as Ash leapt up, punching his father in an uppercut. The whole crowd backed off as he ran inside his room, pulling the door shut. Mr Fox just stood there, blinking. “Did he try to uppercut me?” he asked.

They all paused as a scream came from inside the room, before being followed by a set of whimpers. Mrs Fox ran forwards and knocked.

“Go away!”

She entered anyway, only to quickly retreat, looking a bit flustered. “I think he tried to fight me off.”

“OH CUSS YOU ALL!” he yelled.

Mrs Fox turned to the nurse and sniffed. “You… you can help him. Can’t you?”

“We’ll try,” she replied.

“Is there anywhere where I could sign up? Volunteer work. I know yoga and meditation, it could help,” Kris offered, and he was quickly pointed towards a volunteering station, taking off to it.

Nick studied the couple in front of him, and spoke. “When Ash was on the bridge, he said that no-one needed him. He had a camcorder… He wanted you two to watch it. He explained into it that ‘different’, as you said it, meant ‘surplus to requirement.”

The pairs eyes widened, and Mr Fox spoke. “Why would he ever think that?”

“I think he’s envious of Kristopherson,” he finished, just as the silver fox returned.

“NO CUSS!” came a yell from the other side, as Felicity turned to face the door.

“Ash… I know that Kris is a natural… and you’re…”

“DON’T SAY THAT CUSSING WORD!”

“But we always told you there was nothing wrong with that,” Mr Fox spoke up. “And it’s unfair on Kris to be so mean to him. His father’s been ill for months, and he’s come over and done his best to settle in. He’s tried so hard to be your friend, and all you did was act hostile to him. What has he ever done wrong?”

“You tell me? Then we can talk.”

“I didn’t try hard enough to stop this,” the silver fox, who’d returned, said solemnly. “And I’m sorry.”

…

“Oh go cuss yourself!”

“ASH!” both his parents called out, only for their son to continue, breaking down as he did so.

“You’ve never needed to try. You’re just a… you’re just a… YOU’RE JUST PERFECT AT EVERYTHING!”

“And that’s his fault, how?” Felicity spoke.

The only response that came back was tears and sobbing. The crowd just stood outside, waiting.

.

.

.

It was an hour before they entered. Nick had knocked, and asked if he could talk.

Ash eventually agreed.

The fox cop asked if his family could join him.

He agreed.

They did.

The room could have come out of a hotel, were it not for the lack of hard edges and the presence of a security camera in the corner. Taking a chair and a desk Ash had built a small pillow fort, and calmly stated that Nick could enter. The older fox grimaced as he saw the younger one’s muzzle again, though the kit seemed completely unphased.

“Classy place.”

“Wait until you see the one Kris makes,” Ash muttered.

“Is he good at them?”

“Of course he’s good at them,” the fox said. “He’s good at everything, especially the stuff that he hasn’t had a go at before. Oh no! I’m wrong! If it’s something I’m good at, he’s so awesome at it that he makes me look terrible!”

“Like when?”

“Like diving or swimming, he’s just far better at it. I remember my Dad clapping and cheering at his dives. Never did that for me.”

“But they were perfect dives, athletes train for years to do those son,” came Mr Fox’s voice from outside. “I’m sorry if I was impressed, but I was impressed.”

“Yeah, even though I’m an athlete, and I trained for years!” Ash shouted out back. “And what about Whack-a-bat! I spent years training and playing.”

“It’s no-one’s fault if he’s a natural, dear,” Mrs Fox said.

“IT STILL HURTS THOUGH!” Ash yelled, emptying his lungs. He panted, breathing in, as tears began to flow down the claw marks on both his muzzles. “It still hurts when… when… when he wins your school a cussing first place trophy the day he first starts playing! And the person who practiced… who put in actual effort… who did boring training after school for years… GETS CHUCKED OFF THE TEAM!” The fox broke down, sniffing. “And… and… you’re just a stupid short runt who’s actually useless…. And… and the person who took that from you just has to be so nice that you know you’re a jerk for hating him… What kind of jerk hates the person who beats up your bully! And what kind of person are you when your younger cousin defends you… and… and… just tells you can’t win your fights… you can’t defend yourself… That you’re useless!”

The sound of a clearing throat came in, and Kris spoke out. “Ash, I never tried to hurt you. With the sports and stuff, I never tried…”

“THAT’S RIGHT! YOU NEVER HAD TO TRY!” Ash screamed, bits of saliva dripping from the holes in his muzzle. He curled up tight into a ball, and just sobbed out. “You didn’t even try to take Agnes from me… But you stole her…”

“Ash, please don’t act like you own people,” Kris said. “I was just nice to her.”

“AND I WASN’T? I was her friend… and… and… I said her spots were pretty…. And she was pretty… And I brought her gifts and took her out… I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HER! AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY!”

Nick leant forwards, placing an arm on Ash’s shoulder. “Is this what this is about? Losing your girlfriend. Here’s some news, champ. If she left you for him, she didn’t deserve you. You’ll find someone else.”

“I know that…”

Nick’s head tilted sideways in confusion. “So why did you…?”

“That was months ago!” Ash sobbed. “He… he showed I was a useless athlete so… so… I started something else. I… I tried making comics… and… and I made more of them… AND I PRACTICED! I PRACTICED SO HARD! I made my own comic book, and I gave it to people at school and they loved it… and I sent it to a magazine and… and they said they would publish it!”

He broke down crying, and Nick softly spoke. “What happened?”

“I saw some of his comic stuff and thought I’d give it a shot,” Kris said from outside. “I made a comic to help with my art classes, part of a project, and after a hint from a teacher I sent it to a magazine to see what they thought…”

“Oh…” Nick said.

“YEAH OH!” Ash yelled. “THEY LOVED YOUR COMIC SO MUCH, THEY PULLED MINE! AND MY PARENTS DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A PARTY TO CELEBRATE IT!”

Curling up again, Ash sobbed more into his arms, while Nick peeked out from under the bedsheets and looked at his parents. “Seriously,” he said. “That’s cold.”

“We’d already booked it for Ash,” Mr Fox explained, shrugging. “It was going to be a surprise. When this happened, it made sense to give Kris a reward for succeeding. It was this morning, both of them got the news, and I explained the party thing to them. Heck, if anything it was meant as an awkwardness breaking quip! _'Guess we've got a new fox of honour,_ '" he joked, his hands up and waving. He paused though, a more morose look coming onto his muzzle. "I said sorry for what happened...  I thought he’d taken it well.”

Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before returning back in.

.

.

.

“Do you know, I went to one of these places before. When I was younger,” Nick said. He noticed it seemed easy to say so, even natural.

Instinctual…

A complete contrast to how he wouldn’t let it slip were he outside.

Maybe it was because he was with a kit who needed help? Maybe it was because the pillow fort made it seem like they were alone, one on one, which made it a thousand times easier. He didn’t question it much further though, he just let it be for now.

“No,” Ash replied. His messy fur was now atrocious around his face, while his eyes looked raw.

“Only for some day things,” the fox cop carried on, somehow okay with what he was saying. “For a few years I was mute.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really. Someone stuck a police version of one of those onto me in a hazing,” he explained, pointing at Ash’s muzzle.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Nick replied. “In the end, I ended up learning sign language, before getting my voice back.

“Can you show me?”

Smiling, the larger fox quickly began manipulating his paws, spelling out whole sentences as well as catchphrases. His favourite sign though was ‘I love you’, one of the first he’d learnt, choosing to do so that he could tell it to his mother.

“Palm out,” he explained, Ash following on. “Thumb and outer two fingers up, middle one down.” They did so together, before both moving their palm backwards and forwards. The teen fox nodded and was interested, but a teen nonetheless, and without any sentimentality. So, Nick returned to some sign-play puns he knew. Despite being completely unaware of the jokes being told, Ash smiled slightly as he watched. “That’s cool.”

“I could teach you.”

“Kris would learn it himself and be ten times better…”

…

“I now know your problem with Kris, but what about the D word.”

“Different?”

“Yeh, Different.”

“It’s… It’s what my parents say,” Ash explained. “I’m different. I’m different. The way I act, or feel, or dress myself, or behave… I’m different. BUT WHAT THE CUSS DOES THAT MEAN!?”

Nick flinched back from the shout, the smaller fox’s voice cracking up near the end. A sniff, the tears starting again.

“What does it mean? I… I don’t know… They don’t know… They just say it over and over and over… When I have a complaint or a problem… They don’t check it out or… I’m just different! It’s like they chose that word as it’s easy to explain! It lets them brush everything under the carpet. Am I different!? Am I different to what… I don’t know. How am I different? And… And… it’s like a shorthand… Like… like they can’t be bothered to explain what I am… Like they don’t even know me…”

“Son,” Mrs Fox said, her voice like a ghost. “I… You understand it’s fine to be…”

“TO BE WHAT!?” Ash yelled, choking slightly. “Maybe I’m not different at all… Maybe I’m normal? Is that a bad thing… Stop using the cussing d-word like an excuse… Or just admit you don’t know me and prefer peter perfect!”

.

“Ash, you are my son,” Mr Fox said slowly. “I remember the day I learnt your mother was pregnant like yesterday. I remember seeing you come into this world. I remember you learning to talk and to walk and to play. And I will always love you and… yes, I’ve said you were different and that that was okay. But I feel I never went in too deep, and that’s why you feel so scared now…”

Nick look on as Ash’s head tilted curiously and, together, the pair peeked out of the fort and looked at Mr Fox, his wife by his side. “I think I know what’s bugging you,” he continued. “I mean, looking at how you dress funny, have those markings around your eyes and act odd, or even how you seem to like it when that purple grape juice is all over your mouth like lipstick, I’m amazed I didn’t see it sooner. I should have, and maybe me bringing it up would have prevented all this. But let me tell you now that it’s okay.”

“What do you think is bugging me?” Ash asked skeptically, looking on as Mr Fox stepped forwards and smiled.

“No matter how you feel about yourself or who you love…” he said, before taking in a breath and carrying on, his arm moving forward to gently rest on his son’s shoulder. “No matter what you feel like inside… No matter if you’re really something other than what you were born as, whether you feel that you’re really a vixen or something else, I don’t know… Or no matter if you love someone from a different species, or a todd… It doesn’t matter. None of that matters as I don’t care. I will always love you.”

…

“You think I’m gay… or trans…”

Even Nick flinched back at the accusation, despite it being a whisper.

“It’s okay to be…”

“I KNEW YOU DIDN’T KNOW ME!” Ash yelled, jumping up and tearing down the bed sheet. “YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAID I HAD A GIRLFRIEND! I WAS RIGHT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM…”

The three fox’s backed off a bit.

“I SAID OUT!”

They exited and Ash, cutting past Nick and the otter, went straight for his en-suite. The door closed behind him, and the wailing began.

Mr Fox noted that his assumption may have been based off of entirely circumstantial evidence, having no solid backing, and probably wasn’t a good call.

Leaving Ash behind, as it was late at night, the otter nurse, along with the family waiting outside, said thanks to Nick once more. Arrangements were made. Dates booked.

.

It was into the small hours of a new day when Nick exited the hospital. He looked over at the Fox family and his ears fell back somewhat, a sudden nervous feeling growing over him.

He’d wanted to help Ash when he’d talked about his past issues. How he’d been bullied. How he’d been mute. How it had taken years for him to recover.

How he was vulnerable…

He was okay with him knowing, but as he looked at the family who now also knew he was beginning to feel tingles of fear shiver down the back of his spine. He kept his eyes on them, trying to see if they were judging him…

Thinking less of him…

A look forwards though, and the sight of a certain bunny, helped drive those thoughts away. She didn’t think less of him, and she was the one who’d helped him to start to open up in the first place. Then again, that cynical part of him thought, maybe he was just fine being vulnerable to her.

Judy, oblivious to his internal musings, was waiting for him in the cruiser, and they left together. She drove and, as they cruised down the road, he felt a soft paw on his larger one.

“You did a wonderful thing,” she said.

He turned to face her and saw her smile. That little cynical, defensive, part of him could never stand up against that.

Not in a million years…

“Remember on the bridge,” he said. “I said I thought I wasn’t needed by anyone for two and a half decades, then I met you.”

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling. “Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome, but I hope you’re not the jealous type.”

“Why’s that?”

“There’s someone else who needs me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Having read Fantastic Mr Fox as a child, I was surprised by the additions made in the film. However, I found it to be a great film that was enjoyable in places but also, more than anything, one that moved me. Ash’s plotline especially seemed to affect me for a little bit, sending me into a quiet thoughtful phase for some reason.  
> Years later and looking back, I realized that it goes a bit weird at the end. After constantly being shown as less capable, he magically becomes a super athlete, saves the day, and gets his own bandit hat. It sure feels good, but it feels like a cheap happy ending that was bolted on. Why was he suddenly able to do these things he couldn’t do before? It almost feels out of character.  
> I admit that it was very feel good, so I decided to look for any others who’d examined this. TV tropes and several commentators picked up on an interpretation of Ash that I thought was especially stupid, one which I made my opinions of fairly clear in this chapter.  
> At the same time, the whole ‘different’ thing also rubbed me the wrong way. The way they called him it, giving the jazz hands, seemed cold and uncaring, as if they couldn’t look further and just gave him the most generic label. While the alienating issue of it was semi-addressed in the ‘we’re all different’ speech, my core issue wasn’t addressed at all in the film (in fact Ash seemed to give in to them, trying to differentiate himself in more nuanced ways (I’m grumpy, I spit…) before just resorting to the D word), and my feelings towards that are present in this fic too.  
> Thus, I wrote this fic in part to deal with some of the thoughts I have about Ash’s arc. There’s two more chapters to go, and I’d be interested in knowing what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

.

Two days later, and with a clearance from the ZPD, Nick returned to the hospital. Booking in, he joined the whole Fox family as they waited, before being led on. Soon they arrived at a small therapy room, big wide couches arranged along the walls, all coloured in with bright and exciting tones. It wasn’t long before the door opened, and two more mammals came in.

“Hey Mr,” Nick began, before turning down and imitating a spitting sound.

Ash rolled his eyes and smiled slightly, his mouth free of a muzzle, before sitting down a long distance away from anyone. The mammal who accompanied him, a chubby binturong, smiled as she used her tail to close the door behind them. “Hello,” she introduced, “I’m doctor Lupuleli, though you can call me Amy.”

The others nodded, saying hi.

The mood was quiet for a while before she continued. “Now, I thought that we’d get to introduced ourselves a bit. Even though most of you are members of the same family, it’s common for there to be a lack of communication going on. Sometimes this can be because you all think you know each other, other times it’s because you have problems putting your feelings down into words.”

There was a chuckle, Mr Fox shaking his head. “Now, being a writer for a newspaper, I’m not sure that’s where I’ll be going wrong.”

Amy’s eyes narrowed deviously as she looked at him, before speaking out to the group once more. “Now, introducing ourselves also lets me get a better picture of what’s going on. I was going to begin, but given that he’s so confident, I think that Mr Fox can go first.”

As she spoke her tail came around, holding a little hyena plush in it. She transferred it over to her paws, before tossing it at Mr Fox. Though it came fast, evidently meant to be a surprise, the todd caught it in one paw before giving the therapist a wink, a double whistle and two little clicks of his tongue.

Ash looked on and then down, huffing.

Amy spoke out. “Now, the rules are that you can only speak if you have Haida the Hyena in your paws, or if I let you. So, Mr Fox, introduce yourself.”

“Well,” the vulpine began, “I’m Frederick, Foxy, Fox, and I’m a freelance writer for various newspapers, having my own column in the gazellette. I didn’t used to do that, no. I was once a ranger, patrolling the borders of the country on my trusty old bike and with a rifle on my shoulder. Owls, hawks and eagles that might have flown over and tried to gobble up smaller mammals, I sent them packing! I met my wife there too, and once she fell pregnant we moved back to a home she inherited in the city. As well as my writing, I spend my time tending to my bike and riding around, still on call for dangerous pest removal!” He paused, turning to see his wife give him a slightly disapproving glance, before turning back. “My wife doesn’t approve so much, though I’ve never seen her complain when we’ve had fresh corn snake and goose in the freezer. But me, I still enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I’m still a bit of a wild animal, and I’m proud to say it!”

Amy nodded, before speaking. “Very informative. Now, your wife’s turn.”

The little hyena plush was passed over, and it was the vixen’s turn to speak. “I may love my husband’s wild side, but getting your eye scratched out by a hawk, dying from an adder bite or getting your arm broken by a migrating swan isn’t something I want happening to you.” She leant forwards, frowning, and pinched her husband’s ear. He rolled his eyes, ignoring the pain, though Ash’s groan more than made up for it. She chuckled at her son’s embarrassment, before carrying on. “I’m Felicity Fox, and when I was younger I was a bit of a wild spirit. I went off to join the rangers, hoping for the thrill of the battle. I wanted to live… and I think I got my fair share there.” She sighed, before placing a paw on her husband’s shoulder. “I know what you mean about the thrill of the hunt, but injuries and even deaths in that line of work were common. I still remembering hearing that a hare who I’d trained with had been ambushed and taken off by an eagle… I was okay with that being my life, but when we had Ash I knew that it was selfish to carry on. We had this new house, so we settled down. I raised my boy and spent my spare time practicing hobbies and such. I’ve always enjoyed painting, so that’s the main thing I do, but I also cultivate our garden to get a lot of home produce.”

Amy nodded, smiling. “Good, that’s some nice conversation and understanding going there. Have anything to add to that anyone?”

“Yeah,” Ash muttered. “The whole rangers stuff sounded cool, and I wanted to join in when there was a report of an owl setting up a nest in a warehouse. Someone though turned me back from joining in.” He glared up at Mr Fox, who shrugged.

“Take it from me, you’re not suited for that kind of work.”

“Will I ever be?” Ash asked again, an edge to his voice.

Mr Fox paused. “Maybe…”

“Yes or no,” the young todd pushed.

Amy spoke up too. “A clear answer Mr Fox.”

“They say that rangers have to be made of the right stuf, son,” he began. “Athletic…”

“Which is what I am. An athlete,” Ash interrupted.

“Brave, willing the stare death in the eye…”

“I think I proved that with the whole bridge thing,” he sarcastically barbed.

“Have a bit of a wild streak, but also be calm, collected and strategic in your thoughts…”

“Yes or no.”

“… Imagine if you will, a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece,” Mr Fox began to speak out, waving his paws up in the air. “The piece, or what fits into it, is a ranger. And if you’re looking similar, but not quite there, you can mature and train to fit in perfectly… You, Ash… Looking at the shape of your piece…” His tone deflated a little, before he shrugged, carrying on matter of factly. “I just don’t think it can be made to fit. Sorry son, but that’s my gut feeling.”

Ash looked down at the floor, closing his eyes as lines of anger grew on his muzzle. He stayed silent though, even as his mother spoke out.

“I’m sorry son, but seeing the kind of things going on out there I don’t think you’d be able to handle it.”

“What about Kris?”

Looking on, Nick spotted a slight twinge of worry flash across Mr Fox’s face before vanishing. “Well… Seeing how he can keep his cool and hold his own, I’d say yes.”

“It would be a bit late to say otherwise,” Ash snarked, Felicity turning to face her husband as he spoke. Her face had turned sour like a lemon, and her stare was cold enough to turn it all into sorbet.

“If what I think he’s referring to happened…. It better not have happened!”

For a second there was an awkward look on Mr Fox’s muzzle, before he shrugged. “It was only a barn owl…”

“Right,” she harshly noted. “And speaking of barns, if you don’t want me telling my brother in law, I suggest that you start making plans to build a new barn at the end of our garden for this year’s harvest. We’re always short on storage space. That and you might need a hammock up there when it's done, depending on how I feel…”

Nick looked over and saw Amy smiling slightly, in what his hustler’s vision told him was a mix of fulfilled curiosity, interest and raw schadenfreude. It didn’t last long though as she spoke up. “Well then. Interesting. Communication! Let’s move on to the only stranger in this group, Mr Wilde.”

Taking the plush from Mrs Fox, Nick looked down at his smiling face and pinched one of the round ears slightly, playing with it for a second or so before speaking. “I’m Nick Wilde, first fox cop at the ZPD. Hero of the nighthowler scandal as you may know…” he spoke calmly and smoothly, as he usually did, never giving too much away. “I met Ash here when I stopped him from taking his own life, and I escorted him over to this hospital. I’d…”

He paused slightly, realising what he was about to say and checking himself.

But then came the silence, and the expectant looks.

Fighting the rising bile in his throat, he reminded himself that they already knew and then carried on. “I’d been here as a day patient in my youth, and the kit seemed all right, so I thought I’d stick on and try to lend a paw. That’s what we do at the ZPD.”

He ended his speech and moved to give the hyena toy over to Kris, only to be stopped by the doctor.

“Could you give us some details about you being a day patient here?” she asked, making Nick grind to a halt. He looked around a bit before closing his eyes and sighing.

“I… I was mute after a bullying incident when I was eight or so,” he explained, feeling a lot more vulnerable than he had been the last time he told the story.

So many eyes looking at him and ears listening in…

Trembling paws and raised fur and even the urge to whine started to come through, but he focussed on Ash and fought back. “I had a muzzle forced onto me… and I couldn’t speak for a few years after. This hospital helped me get through that…”

“So, wait,” Mrs Fox asked. “Were you injured, or…”

“No,” Nick said with a shrug, feeling another pang of worry as the pressure mounted on him to speak on. Already, he could feel something old and familiar in his head, a terrible sense of fear and humiliation. It was just a dull ring now, but it was pushing down on his willingness to speak, growing with every awkward second that the surrounding mammals looked at him and gripping around his muzzle like cold steel. “It was purely psychological,” he began, pushing through the feeling. “It felt like… well I had it described as a deep mass of water on top of you, pushing down, telling you that you shouldn’t be speaking and nothing good will come of it and you should just stay silent…”

He breathed a sigh of relief, the feeling vanishing quickly as he got all that into the open.

“I guess a sense of shame at what had happened, and it took time to build by confidence up. Once I was fixed I was fixed. It’s never come back.”

And with that, it was gone.

…

“You said they taught you sign language, you even showed me some,” Ash stated.

Nick smiled, quickly firing off some words with his paws.

There was a pause, before Ash slowly began moving his too.  _ My name is Ash… _

Nick’s eyes widened and he smiled, firing off in return.  _ And mine is Nicholas. Well done. _

Ash nodded at it and smiled, though he frowned slightly at Nick’s compliment, his head tilting to the side slightly.

“I said well done.”

Ash smiled again.

“And well done to you Mr Wilde,” came the voice of Amy. “Having a history like that can feel like a burden. A stigma. A source of shame. Being able to explain what’s happened takes bravery and is ultimately very helpful. Now, Kristopherson’s turn.”

Kris took the plush and immediately began speaking. “I’m Kristopherson Silverfox. My mother, who passed before I can remember, was Felicity’s sister. I’ve been raised by my father ever since, up until he contracted a serious case of pneumonia a while ago. It’s been taking him a very long time to recover, though the end’s nearly in sight, so I’ve been staying with my relatives while he gets better.”

“You have my sympathies,” Amy noted, “and I hope you’ll be able to return soon.”

There was a quick smile from Kris, before he replied. “He’s actually planning to move to the city once he recovers.”

Nick wasn’t sure if anyone else had spotted the slightly fearful look on Ash’s face, but he chose not to bring it up regardless.

“Anyway, I’ve settle in here well,” Kris continued. “I’m in the school Whack-A-Bat team and the athletics team. I’ve got a girlfriend I’m seeing. I even landed a contract with a comic publisher, who’ll be selling some comics I did.”

“Anything else that you stole from me?” Ash growled.

“I didn’t steal any of those from you, cousin,” the silver fox pointed about, before carrying on. “Anyway, I also do meditation in my free time, while now volunteering at this hospital.”

“Just to rub in how perfect you are!” the other young fox snapped.

“Ash,” Felicity warned, “you know that’s not the case.”

“It sure feels like it.”

“I assure you cousin,” Kris said, slowly moving over with his paw outstretched. “It’s simply because I want to help.”

The silver fox’s paw touched the red fox’s shoulder, and he winced away. “Well you know what would be helpful?” Ash hissed. “Not being literally better than me at everything! Not rubbing it in my face! Not stealing something I worked hard for, and you just waltzed in and took!”

“Son,” Mr Fox said, “don’t you think it’s unfair to ask Kris to be bad at certain things simply to make you look better?”

Ash turned to his father and stomped forwards, growling as he bared his teeth. “Oh that’s easy for you to say. You’re perfect at everything you do too! So much so, I wanted to be like you when I grew up! But guess what, you treat me like I’m useless and pointless. I could never take on the Foxy legacy, could I? But Kris could! Kris certainly could. That’s why you brought him here to replace me!”

“Don’t talk about this stupid replacing stuff!” Felicity snapped. “Kris is better at you in most things, so what? Deal with it! Be a normal mammal and… and…” She paused, her voice cracking up. The whole room turned to look at her as a drip or two slowly flowed down from her eyes, her lower lip trembling as they did so. She sniffed, her previous anger replaced with fear and sadness, and then she spoke. “…and please. Please come home. Please come back, and let’s put this all behind us.”

“When did you ever have to do that?” Ash asked coldly. He turned to his father. “And when did you have to deal with someone who took away everything that you’re proud of. When did you deal with being treated as pointless by your parents?” He turned, looking over at Kris and taking the Hyena doll from him. “I don’t know what it’s like to have no mother and an ill father,” he said slowly. “But at least I know that I don’t know what it’s like. I think it’s a pointless question, but I’m going to ask it anyway. Have you ever been in a situation like mine?

“…No,” Kris replied quietly after a pause.

“…You’re not going to say that you’re going to work hard to ‘understand’ how?”

The silver fox shrugged for a bit, before replying. “I get the feeling that saying no is the right answer, but saying it will annoy you as it is the right answer and I’m still perfect in your eyes. At the same time, saying yes means I simply don’t get it… What exactly should I say here…?”

…

Ash blinked once, then twice, before shuffling away from Kris, refusing to speak.

.

Nick looked on in amazement at the silver fox. “You just pulled a captain Kirk there, you know that?”

“What, you mean winning an unwinnable situation?”

“I wouldn’t say winning,” Nick pondered. “But you’re the one who needs Piberius as the middle name here, not me.”

He instantly regretted saying that as five pairs of eyes turned to face him. Even if it was his father who was responsible for that little item, not him, Nick couldn’t help but feel the judgements come down.

A part of him hidden deep down screamed at him for being an idiot and not keeping his mouth shut.

He drove it far down into his mind and, facing the onlookers, scolded back. “Hey, at least it’s a middle name! Not like you can hide your surnames, is it?”

Mr Fox opened his mouth to speak, only to stop as his wife placed a paw on it. Amy spoke instead.

“That was a fun extra thing we learned about you, Mr Wilde,” she said, before turning back to Ash. “But we still have one mammal who hasn’t introduced himself, haven’t we?”

The young todd looked down at the hyena plush in his paws before shrugging. “My name’s Ash,” he began. “Growing up, I always wanted to be cool as my father. I wanted to be like the superheroes in the comics. I wanted to be an athlete… I trained for the last one. I trained hard to be good at Whack-A-Bat and get on the team. I knew who I was, and what I was good at. Then Kris came over…” His mood darkened at that, before he carried on. “Within the first week, he’d shown what a terrible athlete I was. He got on to the Whack-A-Bat team without even trying and got me thrown off, years of practice wasted. He stole my girlfriend, she falling for him the second her eyes spotted him. He was going out with my father, clearly better at being a son than I was… I started making comics, working really hard and even getting a job, selling some to a magazine. But he walked right in and made some that were so much better than mine they threw out my contract without so-much as a thank you. My parents even gave him the party they’d planned for me. And all through this, I knew I was being a nasty envious little todd for hating him. He was nothing but nice and kind, and I was the jealous kid who’s a bad guy in these kinds of stories. Do any of you know what it’s like to know you’re the bad guy?”

…

Nick felt his voice hitch as he remembered how he’d spent so much of his youth. So much of his wasted younger years. Angry at everyone else. Paranoid. Self-hating and pushing away at others. He looked at Ash at that moment and felt the same pull that had made him interested in this case in the first place.

He also felt a sudden sense of shame and humiliation over him.

Tightening around his throat.

His mind told him to speak out, but his gut wanted him to stay quiet.

He opened his mouth to speak…

“Of course, being a bad guy sucks,” Ash noted. Nick closed his mouth again. “But it’s better than being a nothing. And at least it’s better than being ‘ _ different _ ’.”

“What do you mean by different,” Amy asked.

“I don’t know,” the fox huffed before pointing at his parents. “That’s all they call me.  _ Different _ . He’s ‘ _ different _ ’. I don’t even think they know what it means. Heck, when I asked Dad about it, he just guessed that I was queer in some way. Which I’m totally not!”

“What do you think it means?” the therapist asked Mr and Mrs Fox.

They looked at each other and shrugged.

“I don’t think it means anything really, just that he is different,” Felicity said. “He dressed differently, he spits a bit, he gets grumpy… He’s different to other kids, and what’s wrong with that?”

“My thoughts entirely,” Mr Fox agreed. “He’s not a goth or an emo or a punk. He’s not a geek or a jock. It’s not like he’s got his own type in the breakfast club or something?”

Amy nodded and looked around. She pointed at Mr Fox. “The cool dude.” Felicity. “The artist.” Nick. “The cop.” Kris. “The natural.”

“I’d say more some kind of ubervulpes,” Nick commented, bringing a quick smile to a few of the faces around.

Amy was among them, and carried on smiling as she turned to Ash. “Could it be that he sees this and is envious? He feels lost. All of you have these identities and persona’s that you clearly exhibit, and that he lacks. If you remember what his grievances were, it was that he used to be an athlete. He used to be a boyfriend. He used to be his father’s son. He tried to be the comic book artist. He wants an identity, and not having one is what’s causing him this pain.”

“Well, yeah,” Ash noted quietly. “What real purpose do I have? I’m unneeded. I might as well throw myself off a bridge.” He paused, before looking around at the room he was in. The uniform he wore. “That or just stay locked up in here forever.”

“Ash. Son,” Felicity began, slowly getting up and walking forwards. “You’re not unneeded. You don’t need any of these identities to be needed. There’s no reason for any of that.”

She settled down next to him and moved an arm across. He flinched at the contact, before begrudgingly accepting the weak hug around him.

“An observation, if I may,” Amy began. “But you didn’t plan to throw yourself off a bridge because you didn’t have an identity. You threw yourself off of one to get an identity.”

Nick nodded and spoke up. “Hearing what you were saying kiddo, that makes sense. It was about proving stuff to your family. Being this person…”

“Indeed,” Amy continued. “Think back to what you just said Ash, about staying in here as a patient. That’s an identity. The identity of a mental health patient. You’re the person in the family with the issue. Going back to the breakfast club, you’re the oddball. The weirdo.”

“But I don’t want to be,” Ash grumbled. “Same as I don’t want to be the bad guy.”

“But,” the binturong noted, “it was better than being nothing, so you latched on to it.”

“So what, I should settled for this?”

“No,” Nick said out loud, everyone’s attention drawn to him. He knew that what he was going to say was personal, and that same gut feeling as before was telling him to stay quiet or deflect, but this was a case where a kid really needed to listen to this. “Before I was a cop, my identity was the sly fox… The hustler…” He felt the guilt and shame as five sets of eyes bored into him, judging him. Not looking at the armour he’d just taken off. Not having what they thought bounce off. This was the real him they were viewing, and he hated every second of it. “You know why I settled on that?” he asked, regardless of what he felt. “I believed I didn’t have a choice… I lived it for far longer than I wanted to and, looking back now, it sucked. It sucked so bad and, only looking back now, do I remember how much it did so. Only settle for the real you, kid. Please…”

.

…

“That was very brave to say.”

Nick looked up to see Amy looking at him and smiling. The others were as well, and he felt the pressure in his mind dissipate somewhat. “Oh, it’s nothing,” he added. “My partner in the force also did amateur drama, and the kind of things she taught can really help you along, can’t they?”

Deflection gone.

Bad feeling no more.

All good.

Ash smiling, even better.

The young fox scratched his chin, before looking around. “So, what am I then? What am I that’s a good thing to be?”

“That’s for you to find out,” Amy noted.

Ash sighed. “I know, but… What if Kris does his thing again, huh? And what if there is nothing better that I can do than him? What if there’s no good identity for me to be?”

“That’s not the case, and you know it isn’t,” Amy said. “You said you made a comic strip, didn’t you? Kris might be better at the art, but maybe your concept or your writing is better?”

“And what if it isn’t?”

“My option is still open,” Nick suggested. “I could meet up with you and teach you sign language.”

Ash frowned, before looking at Kris. “And what if he turns out to be better at it?”

Nick paused, thinking what to say, only for Amy to speak instead. “Ash, I know there are therapists better than me,” she began. “Many who outclass me in every regard. But I don’t focus on that. They can’t see everyone, you see. And with the mammals I visit, the mammals I help, I mean the world to them. I help give them a reason to live, or even save their life. My identity isn’t ‘the therapist’, Ash. I’m the one who helped you. That’s my identity.”

He nodded slowly, before his eyes widened slightly. “And with my comic… I’m the person who wrote that comic, yes?”

“Yes,” she said.

“And even if everyone thinks Kris’ one is better, and no-one prefers mine to it. I’m still the person who made a comic that they enjoyed…”

“That’s a very good way of thinking about it. If his is better, that’s no reason not to be proud, rightfully proud, of what you achieved, and proud you should be.”

…

Ash was quiet, and then sniffed.

His mother pulled him in tighter, and he moved closer, their tails wrapping slightly.

He didn’t break down, but his eyes did get misty eyed and his nose blocked up, sniffling on and off.

Nick was silent as Mr Fox came over too, putting another pair of arms around his son as his wife petted him.

…

It took a while, but when it was all done, Ash spoke out.

“I’m sorry...”

“You’re forgiven,” his mother replied.

“I… I want to go home.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” his father agreed.

“I agree,” the doctor chimed in. “A home environment, and supportive family, is one of the best medicines for mental health issues.” She paused for a bit, before her eyes furrowed slightly. “But….” she lectured, holding a stern finger up, her gaze moving over to Mr and Mrs Fox. “You need to be supportive. While the intent was there before, you were going about it the wrong way. I want you to spend more time with your son, be more supportive in a constructive manner, and address the issues he brought up. If he is different, work out what that means with him, so you don’t need to use that word anymore. If he feels humiliated or upset after being out-performed, be there for him, even if it is as a shoulder to cry on. Listen to him, however petty or jealous he may sound, as there is real pain behind it. Help him find things that he enjoys and can be happy about. Help him feel worthwhile, and a vital part of the family.”

They nodded, Mr Fox about to reply, only for Kris to speak out first. “What can I do?” he asked.

The Binturong looked at him and smiled knowingly. “Be friendly, but also give him space if he asks for it. Try and find things you can do together, where any superiority on your behalf doesn’t cause much of an issue. Don’t try and force anything, but be there for him if he wants you.” 

The silver fox paused, thinking, before replying. “I have… mixed feelings about that.”

She laughed, before pausing. “Be honest as well. What do you really think of him? No filter or anything. Try it now!” 

Kris paused, his face twitching as some internal conflict raged on, before his eyes narrowed and he turned to his cousin. “I’ve put up with it a lot, but you can be a real jerk sometimes.”

Ash flinched back a bit, before he looked to the floor. “What else?” he asked, waving a paw slightly.

“I’m pretty sure it was you who tried to spread the rumour that I had fleas, which was annoying for a bit. I also don’t care what people think of me for meditating, it’s who I am and I’m proud of it. Maybe you should try being happy about yourself for a change, rather than lashing out at others.”

“Kris…” Felicity gasped, only to be cut off by Amy’s raised paw. 

“Communication,” she said, looking towards Ash. The smaller fox look over to Kris and nodded.

“That… was refreshing, Kris, and I’m sorry” he slowly said, before letting out a little chuckle. “Thanks, though it’s easy to be proud about you when you’re you.”

Amy smiled too before standing up, taking the whole group in. “Ash opened a lot today, and you need to be there to receive him. Try and get some time off as soon as possible, and be there with him. His recovery is ultimately in your paws, but, looking at you all, I’m confident that you’ll all do well.”

“We will,” Mr Fox said resolutely, nodding as he did so. His family did so too. They got up and thanked Dr Lupuleli, who stated that she’d be looking forwards to seeing Ash and the other members of the family once a week. They thanked Nick too, telling him that he’d be a friend of theirs for as long as they lived. He offered to come around and teach Ash sign language.

He said yes… Before looking around and saying that anyone else who wanted to learn could join in, focussing on Kris as he spoke.

The silver fox paused, before replying. “As long as it’s fine with you.”

Ash said that it would help to have someone to practice with, and they left.

.

.

Nick and Amy were alone. He turned to her and smiled. “Well, I better be going,” he said proudly. “I’d better be going though, crime doesn’t sleep and all.”

He turned to leave, though he listened to Amy as she spoke. “You’re very brave, you know?”

He chuckled. “I get that a lot these days.”

“You enjoy it?”

“….” Nick paused, his ears going askew as the question registered. He then shrugged as he came up with an answer. “Well, yeah.”

“But you don’t enjoy being asked about personal things, do you?”

Nick felt his throat hitch, and he turned around to face the binturong. She just smiled and carried on. “Not to strangers and crowds, I’m guessing.”

Glancing down at his wrist, Nick widened his eyes in alarm. “Oh my, is that the time. I’d better be…”

“I know just as well as you that there was no watch there, Officer Wilde,” she said, before gesturing down at the chair next to him. “Sit.”

He stood still for a moment or two, before complying. He settled down in silence, suddenly feeling nervous again as the mammal next to him dived through his mask.

“You said that you didn’t have any of your childhood issues anymore, but I think we both know that that’s not true, is it?” she asked.

Nick sighed, his face falling into his paws in response. “No… Strangers and large crowds as you said. For a long time, the only non-stranger was my mother.”

“Not even colleagues?”

Nick let out a short laugh. “In my old line of work, around tough mammals, this kind of stuff wasn’t just impossible. It was reputation, thus career, suicide…”

“Personal issues are personal for a reason,” she noted, “and it’s natural to want to protect them. I noticed how you had to push to speak about them, and tried to deflect or downplay afterwards… Even though you, on a surface level at least, didn’t want to.”

“Hardly brave, is it?” Nick grumbled.

“If anything, I think it makes you even braver,” she said. He smiled back in response.

“You sound like my partner now, don’t you?”

“I guess I might,” she chuckled, before her tail came forwards, carrying a card with it. “Carrying baggage is normal. Having gut feelings that you want to fight through and struggle through is normal. For those with childhood issues, ones following into adulthood are also normal. I think your partner can go a long way to helping you if you open up some more.”

“I’ll try,” Nick said, before rolling his eyes. “Though given how I’ve always been when things get a bit too real…”

“Well, if you need some more help or a different opinion, here’s my card,” Amy said, passing it over. Nick looked down at it and smiled, looking back at the binturong as well.

“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll think about it.”

And with that, he smiled and left. He felt nervous, but good.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The last proper chapter, though some epilogues will be coming very soon.

**Chapter 3**

.

It was a few weeks later that Nick and Judy found themselves at the bridge again.

It was day this time, and they were passing over quickly, on their way to a new patrol area. Out of Savannah Central and into Sahara Square.

Judy, at the wheel, deftly slid the gear lever down, taking them into third as they moved off the main road and onto a rougher back track. Another flick, and the suspension rose. A few taps at the control button and the automatic traction control was set up for the conditions ahead. Her feet deftly dancing between the three pedals, one paw going up and down on the wheel and the other manoeuvring the gear level here, there and everywhere…

Say what you would about bunny drivers, but Nick knew that Judy wasn't half bad.

That, and she enjoyed taking these kinds of shortcuts.

He thought that she enjoyed it very much.

He didn't say it though…

He just sat there, one paw resting half out of the open window as he felt the heat of the sun on him.

The whip of the wind on his fur.

A hint of the excitement that was flowing through his partner.

It came to an end, though, as they entered a small townlet made out of sculpted adobe structures. Entering the town square in the centre they parked up and got out, making their way towards the open door of a tiny café. Being midday, it was crowded up with mammals who were escaping the worst of the heat, sheltering in the blessed relief of the air conditioning unit. Mostly camels, they tended to ignore the officers, though a small family of addax gave them a friendly wave.

Judy gave them a wave back, before turning to Nick and shrugging. "Nice of them," she quietly commented, though the relative lack of conversation of the place made it travel further than she liked.

Nick studied the crowd before sighing, turning back to his bunny. "The things you still need to learn about this city," he noted, smiling at her curious look. He carried on before she could get another word in. "Take a look at them, what do you see?"

Judy glanced around, before looking back. "Mostly camels," she observed.

"…and…"

Taking her gaze away from Nick's paws, which were opening out as they waited for an answer, she looked again.

Just more camels.

"I don't get it," she shrugged, as they moved further along the line.

Nick smiled. "Want to hear a joke?"

She blinked and looked again, holding back a giggle as she scanned once more. Focussing on the females, she tried to spot it out but couldn't, a wave of disappointment washing over her as her eyes departed the last of the dromedaries.

"You'd need one to be pregnant for that to work, Slick," she noted.

He rolled his eyes and leant down next to her, whispering into her ear. "What else do you need, D.B?"

Her nose twitching, but suppressing her urge to grumble, she scanned around again before it clicked. A final, cursory, glance all but confirmed it.

"They're all one-humps," she noted, Nick nodding in response.

"Yup. But there's a lot of two-humps, maybe some three-humps among them, in this town too," he elaborated. "But, in the place to be right now, they're not here. Want to know why?"

"It's going to be one of your 'real life sucks' speeches, isn't it?" Judy sighed, attempting to be deadpan but failing, a hint of sadness escaping in her voice.

Nick felt a little bad about it but shrugged it off. This was real life after all, and real life was messy. "They really don't get along," he explained, "-to the point where bunnies and foxes look like cheetahs and wolves! I'm guessing a small crowd of these fella's took over this place when it opened, and shamed the others out."

"It's dumb…" the bunny commented, Nick nodding in agreement.

"I know, but at least it stays fairly civil…" he noted, before thinking back. "I was in highschool when we had the squirrel troubles," he recollected. "They dragged pretty much everyone into it and even now, I hear that reds and greys won't live on the same street."

Judy sighed, before turning forwards, her eyes down slightly. "And about that time I was in a children's play, talking about how Zootopia was a magical place…" Nick saw her ears droop too and leant in, placing a paw on her shoulder.

"Carrots, things may seem dumb. But they're getting better. Trust me."

…

"Carrots?"

…

"Judy?"

"It's nothing Nick," she replied, holding a paw up. She turned back and gave her partner a smile.

He gave her a thumbs up, before his eyes wandered over to a small magazine stand and widened. "Hang on…"

He leant over and picked up a glossy comic book issue, brightly coloured and with a list of all the stories inside. Scanning through them, following the words with one of his claws, he stopped near the bottom and let out a great big smile. "Speaking of things getting better…"

Before she could speak, Nick dropped the comic into her paws. Her eyes went down the list too and widened when the saw it. ' _Issue 2 of Sech the Sage and Wessly Wiggler. By Kristopherson Silverfox and Ash Fox'_ "They…." She began, before being unable to find the words. She looked up and smiled, finding them again as a warm happy feeling filled her up. "That's great. In fact…" She tore off the covering of the paper and opened it out to the back, and both she and her partner looked on at the four pages of artwork. She twerked her lips slightly in confusion at first, before Nick gave her a quick one-oh-one.

"Sech the Sage is Kris' character," he began, pointing to an irritated sechuran fox (or rather sechuran zorro, which was the politically correct self-determined name for the false-foxes) dressed in a mystic's garb. He was at his desk, studying some runes and artefacts, as a bunch of beefier heroes walked past, throwing him a list of hero stuff to do. It wasn't that heroic, mainly consisting of rescuing cats stuck up trees and such, and was underlined by a comment talking about how 'the real stuff' was going to be covered by 'real heroes'. Undeterred, the small canid brought out a diary full of shifting shapes which quickly formed into words. A short swipe across it, and a time plan was put in place.

Finish studies.

Complete tasks.

Save the 'real' 'heroes'.

There was more shifting as the time markers turned up next to the points, one of them much to the alarm of Sech. ' _Only that amount of time to complete my studies… Despite the inevitability of my task coming to a close at the right time, I better get on with it'_  he noted, before returning to what he was doing earlier.

"The idea is he's the quiet, passive mystic who all the real superhero team think's is a joke at best and a fraud at most," Nick elaborated. Had he been more confident he might of joked that it was the kind of superhero he could imagine his father as, though there was no need for him to share that little thought. Too personal, and too pitiable, for what he could stomach at the moment."However," he continued, "he almost always operates behind the scenes via the use of his magic, stopping the enemies' plans, manipulating them into doing your standard villain idiocy or even facing against super dangerous magical enemies."

Judy nodded and looked closer, noting that there was some fantastic detail in some of the panes, such as when he made a candles wax flow down and over, joining up into a second one. He manipulated it further, making the doubled-up candle float up, defying gravity. The lit end of the candle bent down and around until it touched the base, the fire diving in. Rather than going out though, the now closed circle began to glow, getting ever brighter as it was manipulated tighter and tighter. Flicking a pair of conjured up shades out of his ear, the sage placed them on as his creation shrunk to the size of a penny, bathing the study with light.

He looked down at his diary and began counting. ' _Three… Two… One…'_

Through the tiny needle sized hole at its centre, a weasel suddenly spurted through, wide eyed and shouting out. ' _Duty calls partner, let's get going!'_  He raced out, slipping through a keyhole as he did so, before Sech followed.

"I presume that's Wessly Wiggler then," Judy said, Nick nodding back.

"The one and only, and Ash's character," he explained. "His power is that he can fit through any space, however small. In his original comic he was a standalone hero but, after both those foxes decided to work together on the same comic, you now have Wessly being the appointed partner of Sech and his only friend."

"So, Ash gets to say he made a comic book character," Judy said happily.

"Oh, more than that," Nick noted. "Ash does all the basic linework, Kris filling in the detail. They also work together on plots, and roleplay the dialogue… Plenty more too."

Putting the paper down, she walked forwards and gave Nick a hug. It was a light one, but the surprising action made Nick's eyes go wide with surprise, a very startled looking fox being hugged by a happy bunny being the result. "You did good there, you know that?"

Nick, his mind buzzing with chaotic thoughts and unable to form together a complete sentence, just let it happen before watching as Judy let go. She turned forwards, peering at the selection of ice-creams present, given how close they were to finally getting one.

Nick, meanwhile, bit his lip as he tried to make sense of what he'd just experienced. It had been startling and shocking and oh-so unexpected and exhilarating and warm and comfy…

… For all its inconveniences, Nick realised that the gratitude and warmth from his partner had made him happy.

Very happy.

And that scared, gut feeling, part of him was beginning to scream out at him now. ' _Don't tell her!' 'Stay silent!' 'Shut that muzzle…'_

"Judy!"

It was barked out, and Nick's urge to remain quiet doubled and tripled and more-so at the reaction. Judy turned to look at him, querying him, wondering just what that was all about… Then there were the outsiders, who seemed to be their new audience

"Nick…?"

"Remember-how-I-don't-like-speaking-about-personal-things…" he rushed out.

Something nice and easy, given it being rote.

"Yes…" Judy pondered.

The weight was back and pushing Nick down. Crawling and slithering around his mouth, trying to weld it shut. He felt his heart hammering and his urge to flee running up and…

"I-liked-your-hug!"

…

He felt he could die from humiliation.

He wished…

"Of course you do," Judy sighed, interrupting his train of thought. "It's a bunny hug… Everyone likes those."

"Yeah," Nick said, relaxing greatly.

"And…" Judy teased, "a carrot's hug…"

He gulped, feet rooting firmly on the ground, at her mercy as she went around him again.

This time he relaxed.

This time he enjoyed it.

This time he hugged back.

He enjoyed it even more, and felt so much less afraid.

"Judy," he began.

"Uh-hu."

"You know I'm…. di-different from most other mammals," he said, stammering as he did so. "I-uh, really don't like telling people about myself, deep down."

"Yes," she noted, as she let a paw slip forwards to hold one of his.

"I want to change that. But I think I need a therapist's help… and I know I'll need yours."

…

"I'll be there every step of the way," Judy reassured him, as she stepped forwards and held his paw. As they stepped up to the counter Nick still felt afraid. But it was a good kind of afraid. Or, at least, an afraid that he knew held goodness behind it. Like when he'd helped Ash, he had the feeling that pushing through the fear would be well worth it.

Together, paws held tight, they went up to the counter, ready to order. Nick noticed Judy pause as she saw the mammal operating it. It was a Rüppell's fox, like Finnick but much larger, closer in size to Nick than Judy. Her ears though, even if she were shrunk down to Finnick's size, would put the fennec's to shame, while her tail was easily long enough to curl up and tickle the underside of her chin. "Welcome to Lulu's," she introduced, smiling. "I'm Lulu, and what can I get you?"

"A carrot pop," Judy asked, before putting the comic onto the counter. "And this."

Nick stepped forwards too, ready to order, only to stop as he heard a loud banging and felt the floor vibrate. Turning around to face the door, his eyes widened as a small group of hiking elephants entered. The red fox's gaze narrowed in on one in particular, a notably loud and grumpy bull.

"I don't know why we have to do this exercise!" he complained. "I could be back at my store and earning actual money, rather than boiling myself. Still… it might not be my stuff, but I need some icecream!"

Nick looked on, remembering just what kind of ice-cream joint he was in, and what exactly that mammal had said to him a few years back.

"What would you like, sir?" Lulu asked again.

"Hmmmm," Nick replied, a mischievous grin on his muzzle. "A blueberry whirl please…"

"Anything else?"

"Oh," he chuckled. "There's one other thing, that's also best served cold."

.

.

* * *

 

.

.

Pulling up their cruiser, Nick and Judy got out and looked at the house they'd arrived at.

"Nice place," the bunny cop commented, to which her fox nodded. He'd been there a fair few times before, and indeed was more accustomed to this kind of architecture given that he was a Zootopia native, so the pleasantness of it didn't have the same wow-factor.

Still though, he couldn't help but feel a hint of envy at the house the Fox family lived in. Located at the edge of the rainforest district, where the trees were much shorter, it had been carved into the heartwood of a huge oak, the still living tree branching out above them with a healthy canopy of rich green leaves. A small plot cleared away and covered in wild grass surrounded it, only making its lumpy and stout form more majestic. Nick could count at least four rows of windows above the ground floor, though by his estimate the top three would only be big enough for a single room. He'd never been into them though, instead sticking to the kitchen-diner on the ground floor, the floor above with the lounge and shower room, and the workshops, studies and storerooms hidden below the surface. It was in one of those that he'd spent most of his time with Ash and Kris, doing their thing together.

Speaking of which, here they came now.

Ash came jogging up first, and quickly brought up his paws and began shifting them around. " _Hello Nick, good to see you."_

" _And you too,"_  Nick signed back, glancing at Judy as she looked on smiling.

Kris was there too, and joined in. " _Good to see you. Here for the… food."_

Nick smiled at the pause, before replying. " _What do you want to sign?"_

"Barbeque," Kris shrugged, only to feel a tap on his shoulder as Ash held out his paws.

" _B-B-Q_ "

Nick let out a short bark of a laugh before shrugging. "That'll work," he admitted, "though I don't know if there's a real sign for it. To be honest, my signing is kind of rusty…"

" _It works for us,"_  Kris signed back, before waving the pair on. Behind the house a small barbeque had been set out and was already smoking from the charcoal placed on it. Mr Fox, who was joined by his wife along with a scruffy looking possum, was placing bugburgers, sausages, chicken wings and some corn-cobs on, getting them all ready. Judy looked over at the nearby table and relaxed a bit as she saw some nice looking leafy salads prepared for her as well.

"I fear that I'll be a bit disappointed in this," she confided. "I'm used to giant bunny-barbies I'm afraid, and this stuff isn't exactly tailored to my palate."

"Speak for yourself," Nick replied back, looking over at the feast being prepared. "I grew up on the seventh floor of a concrete flat, so this is the first time I'm getting one of these!"

He had excitement in his voice and began making his way over before pausing. There, in the shadow of the tree, sat a new figure. A silver fox, a bit older than him but looking a lot more worse for wear. He was thinner, and his fur was scraggier, but he seemed to have a subdued optimism about him, as if it were just a passing phase. Nick could already guess who he was, and the presence of Kris walking over and talking to him, and the figure then turning and waving, all but confirmed it. From all he'd seen and heard, it would be interesting to meet Mr Silverfox in person.

.

Their conversation was short and interesting but, leaving it, Nick felt that he needed to be alone. That fox seemed like a great father.

A great Dad.

And that brought back painful memories of another great Dad, one that was taken too soon.

Wandering away from the crowd, Nick settled down on the stump on an old tree and watched the others do their thing. Running around, talking, being a family.

The joy he'd been feeling before was subdued somewhat, an old sadness coming back.

He lowered his head and looked at the floor, staring at it as he scratched his muzzle.

…

He didn't think of times that could have been…

…

He felt as if he were though.

…

It would pass shortly, and then he'd go back. He just had to work it out first.

.

Fishing into his pocket, he brought out a small pen that was tipped with a fake blueberry. It was a present from Judy, something for him that matched something that she had. Something Nick had done a fair few things to try and get once upon a time.

His claw pressing a small button on the side, he let a smile grow on his face as the recording started.

" _What do you want?"_  played out the voice of Lulu, her harsh tone a far cry from the bubbly one she'd introduced herself with to Nick. Then again, twenty bucks could do some things.

" _Uhhh… An Icecream, Fox!"_

" _Don't you dare FOX me! Anyway, aren't there any elephant sized icecream places in your part of town?"_

" _Yes… I own one… But can I have a jumbo pop mini?"_

"…  _Now listen, you probably can't forget your own bigoted ways, so I'm going to have to turn you away. I don't want any antivulpites in my store!"_

"…  _Wait… Listen, I may not be overly fond of your kind…"_

" _And why not?"_

" _Well… and I mean no offence… but you do have a slight reputation that might put others off…"_

" _As do you. Would you kindly leave now, bigot."_

" _Hey! I want my jum…"_

" _AND I CAN REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE! Now, you're holding up a rather large line…"_

There were some muffled shouts from behind, grumbling about him holding them up, before a set of loud claps. Nick remembered the shocked looked on old Jerry's face even before he'd revealed himself. Nick had congratulated Lulu, before turning to the elephant who'd once refused him service and telling him that they were officially even. He'd merely pointed at him and said 'you', before trailing off in silence. Only Lulu offering his seven-and-a-half buck pop, which he'd paid for with a tenner (with no returned change) did he move, rumbling away in silence.

They'd all had a laugh after that.

.

It was a fun memory, and it helped lift Nick out of his little funk.

.

He'd sit here for a little bit, and then head back.

.

Alone, in the peace and quie…

"Hey!"

The voice shook Nick out of his train of thought and he turned to face Ash, who was standing next to him. "Mind if I sit down?" he asked, and Nick nodded, shuffling over to give him some space.

…

"Can I talk to you about something?" he asked.

"Sure."

The younger fox looked away slightly, before scratching his cheek fur. "My father… today…" he began, slowly and unsurely. "This morning, when Kris' father came over to take him to their new home… My Dad settled down next to me and said some things."

"What were they?"

Ash was silent for a bit, looking far off towards his family, before speaking. "He said he was sorry, that was the first thing… He said that he enjoyed life so much, and was so good at all these things, that he never realised that there was something he was bad at…"

…

"He was a bad father, and he didn't listen to me… Even worse, as he was spending time doing his own things and not bringing me on them… He didn't know me… He says he thinks I'm as different as everyone else is, but he never learnt how or why…"

"But he's going to work on changing that now, isn't he?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," Ash said, nodding slowly. "A while back, my mother said that we're all different, and that's a good thing. And that he's very different, and that's something fantastic. But… But he said that he didn't think he was fantastic anymore. He was saying that he might be different, really being a wild animal, but that wasn't a good thing for me…" There was a short pause, before he spoke quickly. "I said back that I would always think he was fantastic, even if I sometimes was mad at him."

He gave a short laugh, Nick joining in. It died down, and the elder fox looked on and nodded. "That's good, isn't it. I'm guessing you'll be going out together… as much as your mother lets you."

"That's right," he noted. "I once wanted to go with him, on the same barn owl job that Kris got roped in on. My dad ordered me back, saying I was too uncoordinated and small… He did it because he wanted to protect me, but he knows now how much it hurt… He now says that he'll be helping me, teaching me where he can. Showing me the ropes of what he does and joining in with the things I do. The comics…"

"I read a few," Nick interrupted. "They're good."

"I know," Ash chuckled, smiling. "Me and Kris work well on them. We even have some fan mail and art… Most of it is about Sech, plus the detail art that Kris does… But there are a few about Wessly, and some people love my jokes. And I pin those up and I look at them, and I feel good about myself. I feel good…"

…

There was a sniff, and Nick's eyes widened as Ash slowly lowered his head, resting it on his paws as his fingers wrapped around to cover his eyes. "I… I also learnt about the day my father learnt that I was going to be born… He and Mum were cornered by a golden eagle, out of weapons, when she told him… And he… and he says they ran, and all this time he was thinking who that bump was going to be… and how he was so glad that it was me…"

The young fox choked back a sob before shuffling over, holding onto Nick. "I…. I…. What was I thinking!? What was I going to do…! To… to them!" His sobs began getting louder and Nick stood up, holding an arm around him to guide him forwards. His body began to shake as they moved, tears flowing down his muzzle fur. "I'd hurt them so much! And waste my life! All… all…. All because I was this dum cussing idiot! All because I hated being called different!"

He wailed it out and Nick turned, looking Ash in the face. He closed his eyes and then opened them, speaking out and smiling. "Don't over think it, we're all a dum cussing idiot at one point in our lives." He paused, ruffling Ash's head fur slightly before looking over at the other mammals by the tree. "I was one once, for a very long time too. I'm also different. I'd never be able to tell strangers this kind of stuff like you're doing now… But you know what, I think there's a fox over there who'd really like you to tell him this stuff. Don't you?"

Ash pulled back slightly, still crying like a young child, and nodded, before turning and racing off. Nick watched as Mr Fox noticed him, barely putting down the burgers he was handling before his son jumped into him. Mrs Fox quickly joined too, and they cuddled the bawling kit, who was shedding tear after tear and crying out apology after apology.

Nick looked on and smiled.

He'd know dumb cussing idiots who'd robbed stores or got hooked on drugs. Who'd thrown themselves off buildings or tried to shoot up schools to give themselves an identity. He'd know one very well, some idiot who let a bad bullying event turn him into a cynic for twenty odd years.

But everyone went through being one. Ash, and his father, had hopefully left that behind. Nick looked on at them and smiled, hoping them the best. They surely were different, but they'd manage.

As for him though…

.

Not long after Ash had calmed down, the food was being served. Settling down next to Judy and biting into his burger, Nick took his time to savour it. It was cheap, and simple, and a shadow of what could be found in the higher end restaurants of the city, but it somehow blew all of that away.

A few more bites, tasting the cheese and onion placed on top, and he settled his plate down, slowly observing Judy next to him. She had a few salads, plus some grilled carrots and sweetcorn, but was currently occupied by her own burger. She prodded it, with a sceptical look on her face, as if it might start moving again.

"Are you still the Miss Try everything I know and love," he teased.

She turned to look at him, a hint of anger crossing her face, before she pulled up the food and took a bite…

…

And then spat it out.

" _Bleuagghhhhh_ ," she gagged, quickly grabbing a carrot to munch on in order to wipe out the taste.

"Points for effort."

Swallowing her carrot, the bunny turned back to Nick and sighed. "Well, it is 'even if I fail', so I can't complain."

She settled down and cosied up to Nick, her head nestling against his side. A scared shiver ran up from that area first, Nick feeling the urge to shuffle away. He resisted though, and soon it was warmth coming up.

Comfort.

He thought that, if she were 'Miss try everything' then he'd have to be 'Mr try everything'.

His paw went around her, pulled her tight and, as she nibbled on some celery, he brought his other paw up. His thumb, first finger and last were pointed out, and his middle finger lowered. Palm facing out, he moved his paw backwards and forwards, smiling as he did so.

Unlike Ash, he was different.

He was different to so many other mammals, who could speak their mind or wore their feelings on their sleeves.

Letting people in, even those he trusted, was hard.

Letting them see the real you meant the real you was exposed, and that meant vulnerability.

He'd spent years of his life building up shields and fake persona's and putting on a mask to keep that part of him safe, and this bunny had smashed through all of them.

Letting her through was one of the hardest things he'd ever, or would ever, do.

He still had a long way to go, especially if he wanted to tell her the confession he'd just given.

But he wanted to do it, because he knew that in the end it was worth it.

It truly was.


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

.

"I know I'm not like other mammals," the small fox pondered. He was sat with his therapist, alone in her office. Laying back, he looked up at the ceiling, his eyes wandering about as he thought.  "But until recently I didn't really know why. Talking with my parents though, I get it. They don't call me the D word anymore. They call me cynical and eccentric, which are things that I am, I see them in me, and are okay to be. I know what they mean, unlike different, and that makes it okay. I can see them in me, and agree. I'm also little, which sucks... but it's one of those things I might as well accept. I know I can't change it, unlike just being 'different'.  I also know that I can be spiteful, and rude, and hostile... I'm bad tempered and envious sometimes, and thanks to you I understand where those feelings are coming from. Those are things I can work on to improve, unlike that 'different’ thing."

"Do you prefer being called these things," Amy asked, curious as to his answer.

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "You'd think it odd, that I didn't like being labelled but do now. But... When one label seems to be made without even caring what you think, it's bad. But when they look at you, and know you, and you can talk about these things... -and agree on them. It feels good. Yes, you're labelled, but it's your label, and I think that makes all the difference." He paused, giving a little chuckle, before looking away, scratching the back of his head. "And you know what, with all of these little labels, they do add up into this big one. The D word... But while having that one thrown on top of you sucked, being able to piece the little ones together to make it... is good. It's me. And I can accept that."

"Your not going to say..." Amy began, a smile growing on her face.

"I'm different," Ash said firmly, a finger going up and wiping a tear from his eye. "And I'm okay with that."

.

.

**AN: So there we are. As I said at the end of chapter 1, I felt that the end of Ash’s storyline in the film was a bit of a cop-out. To me, the whole being called different thing felt harsh, cold and a bit uncaring, yet, rather than address this, the film has Ash being nagged into accepting it (even seeming to give up on a more nuanced reading) and, in doing so, seemingly awakening his inner wild animal. That kind of thing worked in Kung-Fu Hustle, but it felt a bit off here (note: foreshadowing).**

**One very good article I read described him as maturing, learning to not hate himself and use both his own traits (I can fit through there, you know why? I’m little) and the advice of others (the karate chop, though note that he failed comically in athleticism here, as compared to his display just a few minutes later). The bullet dodging was described as him using his stature (thus natural abilities) to avoid the bullets. I kind of get that, but it’s very unclear in the moment, especially as the majority of the run involves him using things that he’s been shown up at previously (Athletics and Whack-A-Bat). There’s also Ash’s previous tail raid, which failed catastrophically.**

**I presume that this was the original intention of the film, and it didn’t work for me due to a lack of foreshadowing. Have Ash dodging or hiding from the bully before Kris saves him, maybe with some comment about it. Have Ash sneaking through a hole that Kris can’t get through to help them go on, Kris maybe even complementing on it. In the final battle, show Ash using much more cover, rather than always being one step ahead of the bullets (or rather Boggis, Bunce and Bean being graduates from the imperial stormtrooper marksmanship academy). Things like that. Again, my initial issue with the ending for Ash was that it felt like he suddenly goes hard out of character so as to get that happy ending.**

**As for his parents, their relationship with him doesn’t really develop with the exception of Mr Fox congratulating him on his crazy performance. They still call him different, given that he changed on that point, not them. If it goes back to Ash being always overshadowed, do they seem like they’d do anything differently? I’m not sure. So, again, I wanted to show them learning lessons in this too, and changing.**

**Thus we return to my initial concept of the fic, That the more interesting ending is if he doesn’t have his defining character traits (being overshadowed by Kris) suddenly blanked out, and comes to accept them, in doing so finding a new way of looking at life that is ultimately healthier, while developing and maturing as a character. That and his parents learning what they’ve done wrong and fixing it.**

**As for the sub-plot? A few story ideas have had Nick going mute after the muzzling incident, and I liked the idea that he learned sign language to cope (his hand gestures at Cliffside actually having a genuine meaning). The mental health theme let me bolt it to this story, and I developed the character changes that Nick goes through after that. In helping Ash, he helps himself. Plus, everyone loves some WildeHopps.**

**I hope you enjoyed this, and feel free to discuss my interpretations and opinions (and your own, if you agree or disagree) in the comments. I will be responding over on A03.**

**As for sequels…**

**This fic was made with a specific idea, and scene (Ash on the bridge) as its genesis, and built from there. On some occasions, I have had ideas that would include both members of the Fox family and the Zoot crew going on various adventures, the idea being that the members from each would develop as characters from it. Other ideas have this being the start of a much wider crossover series, with many other fantastic foxes (and others) featuring. However, while I really like some of them, they don't have that pure spark as this one, and I feel that the sequels might detract from this as a stand alone work. I’m conflicted on the matter of developing this as a series or not, so (again) comments would be good. If you want more of this universe, just say.**

**One ‘sequel’ that may well come about though is one involving Dr Amy, trying to find the root cause of a bigoted mammal’s insane hatred, and rehabilitate her into society. Sounds familiar right…**

**(Maniacal laugh…. Maniacal laugh…)**

**Well, you better not get your wool in a twist, as this one certainly will be different. It’ll be under ‘The Fantastic Foxes of Zootopia’, so if on A03 feel free to subscribe to the series, in case this universe does return.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, and glad you enjoyed.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Outside, the Fox family patiently waited. Mrs Fox was doing some sketching, as was Kris, while Mr Fox lay back with his eyes closed.

There was a ruffling of papers, and Kris looked up to see a figure holding up the comic book magazine that he published in. He was giggling and chuckling, enjoying what he was reading.

“Anything funny?” the silver fox asked.

The figure paused, and Kris could see his orange paws tighten.

“Aw, it’s nuthin’,” came the accented reply. “Jez this weasel fella who can fit through any hole. A bad guy tried to shoot his friend with a revolver, and what he do? He throws himself through the barrel, stoppin’ it from reloadin’! Then he blows a raspberry!”

The whole fox family looked on as the figure laughed some more, before Kris spoke out. “You know my cousin and I wrote that strip. That’s my cousin’s joke, and character.”

“...Y’all pullin’ my leg!”

“He’s inside with the doctor right now,” Mrs Fox added, smiling. “He’d love to meet a fan when he’s done.”

The figure was silent for a bit. “Well if I ever… Mr Ash Fox sharing my therapist!” 

“You know Dr Lupuleli?” Kris asked.

“Know her?” he asked, chuckling warmly. He pulled down the comic, revealing a portly fox in a blue flannel shirt, with grey stubble under his muzzle and a mop of red hair. “Ol’ Amy’s only been my therapist for the last ten years or so!”


End file.
